Having a healthy and happy relationship with others is always possible. However, one of the ways to do it is to simply make a self-assessment activity. We can do this by asking some questions that will allow us to know and deeply understand ourselves. Doing this will help us re-evaluate our beliefs, values and the […]
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Relationships fuel us and help us become better. However, it seems that we encounter some problems with the relationship that we have with our family, spouse, friends, relatives, co-workers and other people. I recently came across an article here that talks about the 10 rules to make a relationship last. I think this post can […]
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I’ve spoken with many people who were experiencing some challenges in their relationship with the people the care about. It doesn’t surprise me why an increasing number of individuals such as couples are having some relationship problems. There are actually several factors that can significantly affect the course of relationships. I have here an article, […]
The blog post Rekindling Romance in Marriage first appeared on nlpsingapore.net
One of the most important relationships that people should master building is one with their colleagues. Work is important and a necessity, and having a great relationship with the people in the workplace is essential as well. Those who have a good relationship with their colleagues are able to function well, work productively and have […]
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I love this post mainly because I have always been learning how to be grateful in everything I have and don’t have. I personally believe that in order for people to deal well with others and build a great relationship, they need to learn how to appreciate and be grateful for everything that they have […]
This post Expressing the Attitude of Gratitude first appeared on www.nlpsingapore.net
It’s amazing how we learn different subjects during our time in school but we learn nothing about building relationships with other people.
Apart from caring for your health and improving your self-worth, there is none as essential as this. In our schools, self-worth and relationships are not given priority.
It’s not difficult to build relationships using NLP skills and even young kids can understand them. It only takes a short time to master them through discussions and activities. With a small investment, it can have a big impact in our society for a short amount of time, plus the impact on the future happiness of the youth.
What do we learn in school? Impractical subjects such as dissecting frogs, making jars, studying rocks, etc.
So how do we cultivate relationships so that it will last longer? How can we avoid conflicts? However, schools don’t want to invest on these kinds of subjects.
Let’s analyze two standard NLP Core Skills which can be used to enhance relationships. These skills could be applied by the youth aged 10 to 12. They could learn them in a few hours. The skills could be reinforced through games and activities.
(1) The Logical Levels
Listening carefully to an individual’s words and actions and then connecting them to their Personality Map gives many opportunities to prevent challenges and to express respect and encouragement. For instance, if a friend refuses to do something that you ask them to do, listen to how they express this. If they say ÔI cannot do it’ this shows lack of skill. They may be willing but do not have the knowledge.
However, if they say, “I don’t see the point in it”, it means they cannot perceive how it can help their values. If you’ve helped them identify their important values, you can convince them how it can help fulfill their values.
But, if they protest by saying “It’s not me!” then they are expressing that it does not match their identity. If they express that something goes against the Identify Level of their Personality Map, it is suggested that you back out and don’t try to tell them otherwise.
The Personality Map can be applied as a way of measuring your knowledge of a person. For instance, it will help you identify their important values and those that they try to avoid. It will also help you know their beliefs and if you can let go if their beliefs are different than your own. Many people are unhappy because of the rule that true love means having the same views and values.
(2) Different Perspectives (Perceptual Positions)
This is a second common NLP tool that every young individual must learn.In NLP, we focus on three ways of analyzing a situation: my view, your view and the view of a detached observer.
For instance, we fought. I go through these three Perspectives. First I assess my own view and, I want you to listen to what I have just heard about the neighbours!
Next I ‘go’ into the second position – your view. I imagine I am you and consider what the situation is from your view. I find out that that person over there just doesn’t like to listen to me any longer. I learn that you must be feeling bad and find it difficult relating to me.
Lastly, I ‘go’ into the third Perceptual Position. I am looking at the interaction from the viewpoint of a detached onlooker. I learn that these two people are not in good terms and are more focused in doing things their way than in knowing the other’s person’s wants.
